.

.

Top Ten Signs That You Upgraded Too Soon

.

.

1. Your best minute gap behind any racer is in double digits.

.

2. Wildlife sightings replace wheel following.

.

3. The cows come home… and refuse to yield trail

.

4. There’s an ATV following you… and it isn’t the pace vehicle.

.

5. You hear the pro award ceremony on the loudspeakers… before you finish your last lap.

.

6. You finally cross the finish line just as the staff is taking down the barriers, and

.

7. The free samples have all left the venue.

.

8. Then, you receive congratulations that you finished. At all.

.

9. Your children amuse themselves by calling you "Loser Mommy."

.

10.You begin to look forward to aging up again. In nine and a half years. To 50 plus.

.

.

Since NO ONE, not even my friends or family, wants to hear any more reasons why I come in badly last, lastly bad, stay tuned for reports from completely random strangers that I befriend in race parking lots.